


Adventures in Babysitting

by dorkyduckling



Category: RWBY
Genre: Babysitting, Fluff, M/M, Technically Fits In Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 00:18:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12445185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkyduckling/pseuds/dorkyduckling
Summary: "Qrow, I know I said I wanted to go on a date but I'm not quite sure this is what I had in mind." Ozpin's eyebrows were up. Qrow was standing in the doorway of the Patch house, an infant in his arms and a toddler hanging off his cape.





	Adventures in Babysitting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Howdy y'all! I don't usually write m/m fics but I wrote this for my friend Kay for her birthday ages ago. She asked me to put it up ages ago too but listen, life is wild. Second Chance takes up a lot of my time. Hope y'all like it though. It's lightly edited but nothing too excting.
> 
> -JJ

"Qrow, I know I said I wanted to go on a date but I'm not quite sure this is what I had in mind." Ozpin's eyebrows were up. Qrow was standing in the doorway of the Patch house, an infant in his arms and a toddler hanging off his cape. The infant had a small tuft of reddish black hair and striking silver eyes. The toddler for her part had a mane of wild blonde hair and soft lavender eyes. Based on what Qrow had told him these kids were Ruby and Yang.    
  
"C'mon, Ozzy. You've been wanting to meet the tikes for ages anyways." Qrow kissed Ozpin before beckoning him to follow him inside. "Tai and Summer needed a night out and you've been wanting to see me more."    
  
"I suppose that makes sense." Ozpin sighed. Qrow knew very well that Ozpin's only experience with children were the ones who came to Beacon. He had no experience with very young children like Yang and Ruby. Nevertheless Ozpin followed Qrow into the small house. The place was in chaos. Toys and clothes were strewn across the room and walking required careful foot placement.

 

“Sorry about the mess. Ruby’s only like a month old and newborn plus toddler do not make for a great combination.” Qrow explained, kicking a toy out of the way as he walked. Yang stared up at Ozpin with big lavender eyes. It struck Ozpin that she looked so much like her mother. 

 

“It’s quite alright. Children do tend to make for a messy home.” Ozpin nodded. 

 

“Oo dat?” Yang finally spoke, pointing at Ozpin with one hand while still hanging off the cape with the other. It was impressive. She was probably going to be very strong like summer. 

 

“That is my boyfriend, Ozpin.” Qrow said as they went into the kitchen. A bottle was sitting on the kitchen and he picked it up to start feeding Ruby. The infant gurgled happily before taking the bottle. 

 

“Wazzat?” Yang asked. She grabbed back ahold of the cape with both hands and used her tiny toddler legs to push off Qrow so she could swing back. 

 

“I love him like Mommy and Daddy love each other.” Qrow shrugged. “First lesson, firecracker. Heteronormativity is bullshit.”

 

“Qrow!” Ozpin scolded. Swearing in front of children was very frowned upon. Especially one so young and impressionable. Summer and Tai were going to kill him if Yang started swearing. 

 

“Summer has said worse.” Qrow rolled his eyes. “Hell, Yang has definitely said worse. Hey Yang, what’s your favorite word?” 

 

“Fuck!” Yang shrieked happily, still swinging. She said it with such clarity Ozpin was stunned for a moment. 

 

“That doesn’t mean you should be influencing her. Summer is her mother, that’s different.” Ozpin sighed.

 

“Yeah her mother.” Qrow scoffed and Ozpin gave him a warning look. That was territory neither of them needed to get into in front of Yang. Maybe a change in subject was in order. 

 

“So what’s the plan?” Ozpin asked, glancing around at his surroundings. 

 

“Tai made an itinerary, it’s on the fridge.” Qrow jerked his head to the side at the fridge. Ozpin walked over to read it, curious.

 

  * **5:00-** Feed Ruby (or if Yang starts throwing a tantrum let her do it, last time she set the kitchen on fire)



 

  * **5:30-** Feed Yang (and hope Ruby let’s you put her down long enough to make dinner)



 

  * **6:00-** Play whatever games Yang comes up with in her room (the pillows are on the ground in case she drops Ruby)



 

 

  * ****6:30-** Read the girls a story (or 5 depending on demand)**



 

 

  * **7:00-** Feed Ruby and then put her down for bed (put on the bear movie to keep Yang quiet for the hour so Ruby can fall asleep, you have to sing at least 6 lullabies before you can put her down)



 

  * **8:00-** Try to put Yang to bed (you will spend at least 20 minutes trying to get her to let you brush her hair, it will not work, the fire extinguisher is under the sink.)



 

  * **8:30-** Give up trying to put Yang to bed, throw a blanket over her on the couch, and just let her watch the rest of the bear movie (Summer will do so with 0 hassle when she comes home, it’s scary)



 

  * **9:00-** Cry in relief because we’re home 



 

“This is an interesting schedule.” Ozpin commented, turning to look back at his boyfriend. 

 

“It’s pretty accurate.” Qrow shrugged. He’d babysitted before and helped Tai and Summer figure out how to juggle two kids. 

 

“How can I help?” Ozpin offered. He would at least try to make himself useful in any way he knew. Even in spite of his lack of experience. 

 

“There’s some frozen mac in the freezer, will you get that out and stick it in the oven?” Qrow said, finally setting the bottle down so he could burp the infant. Yang had started singing some nursery rhyme as she swung. 

 

“Of course.” Ozpin moved to do just that. Everything seemed rather calm. Perhaps the night would not be as hard as he expected.

 

About half an hour later Ozpin was proven very wrong. Yang had eaten about half her macaroni and cheese before dumping the rest on her sister with a gleeful laugh. Ruby had also found this hilarious. Considering Yang had it all over herself, including in her hair, baths had been in order. Not an easy task.

 

“Dammit Yang, hold still.” Ozpin glanced over to watch Qrow wrestling the squirming wet toddler to keep her in the bath. Thankfully she was not on fire but she was screaming her head off. Meanwhile he was bathing Ruby in the sink while trying to keep the limp noodle child from drowning because baths apparently put her to sleep. 

 

“No!” Yang screamed, swatting at her uncle.

 

“There is pasta in your freaking hair!” Qrow snapped. Ozpin smiled warmly at the scene, a small chuckle escaping him. He was glad Qrow had not heard it. It was endearing though seeing his boyfriend losing to a two year old.

 

“I imagine you will be the easy child, Ruby.” Ozpin said, wrapping the baby in a fluffy red towel. “Though considering your sister that is not saying much.”

 

“You should hear her scream. It’s so high pitched.” Qrow grunted, one hand on Yang’s shoulder holding her down while he struggled to wash her hair with the other. 

 

“I can imagine.” Ozpin chuckled, cradling Ruby in his arms. It had only taken five or six tries to figure out the correct way Qrow had showed him. 

 

“Do you want kids?” Qrow asked, almost falling off the stool he was sitting on as Yang flailed. 

 

“Not particularly, do you?” Ozpin raised an eyebrow.

 

“Oh hell no.” Qrow shook his head as he regained balance and his hold on the toddler. 

 

“That’s settled then.” 

 

* * *

 

Bathing Yang took a full hour but it eventually got done. It was followed by a tantrum to hold her sister which she quickly won when she set the curtains on fire. That’s how Ozpin found himself holding a sword and wearing a crown. Qrow for his part was wearing a tutu and had a tiara on his head while perched on a chair way too small. It was adorable, not that Ozpin would say that. He wished he had a picture though.

 

“Gotta ‘ave pincess Unca Cwo!” Yang announced, holding Ruby in her tiny arms. She had placed headbands with horns on both their heads. “We dwagons.” 

 

“That makes so much sense.” Qrow frowned. 

 

“Pincess!” Yang demanded, her entire face scrunching up. She poked Ruby in the stomach to get the baby to squeal in order to back up her demand. 

 

“Oh no! I’m a damsel in distress. I’ve been captured by two half pint dragons. Will anyone save me?” Qrow called out dramatically, clutching at his chest. He also tried to make his voice sound higher pitched. It was comical. Yang kicked Ozpin in the shin to prompt him.

 

“I am a brave knight prince and I will save the fair lady.” Ozpin did not sound as confident in his performance as Qrow did but Yang seemed pleased. 

 

“Grrrrrrrrrrrr!” Yang growled but it sounded way more adorable than scary. “‘Ay grrr Wuby!” Ruby just grabbed hold of a piece of Yang’s hair in her tiny fist and stuffed it in her mouth. 

 

“So scary!” Qrow cried out. 

 

“I’m not scared!” Ozpin yelled, brandishing his sword.Yang headbutted the sword and managed to not drop her sister. If the sword had been anything other than foam it probably would have broken.

 

“Grrrrrrrrrrr!” Yang growled again before lunging forward. Ozpin tripped over one of the pillows while trying to back up. He fell on his butt which caused Yang to giggle. 

 

“Nice job brave knight prince.” Qrow snorted earning a glare from Ozpin. Ozpin used to distraction to reach forward and poke Yang in the leg with the sword.

 

“I die!” Yang shrieked dramatically, falling straight backwards while cradling Ruby to her chest to keep the infant from feeling the fall. Ozpin made note to mention that to her parents later. Yang had a great protective instinct.    
  


“Now I will save the princess!” Ozpin got up and walked over to pull Qrow up.  
  


“Kiss!” Yang yelled, sitting up. Ozpin laughed and did kiss Qrow, chastely and very innocent. Qrow rolled his eyes but he was laughing too. 

 

“There ya go, firecracker.” Qrow shook his head in amusement. 

 

“Again!” Yang announced.

 

“Again it is.” Ozpin smiled. This was more fun than he’d had in ages. 

 

* * *

They replayed the game way too many times before it was time for Ruby to go to bed. After four stories for Yang she settled down on the couch to watch the bear movie. Qrow put down Ruby with eight different lullabies and Ozpin may or may not have recorded from the door. Trying to put Yang down was useless so they just let her watch the movie, curled up with her favorite blanket. The two boyfriends sat on the other end watching, snuggled into each other..

 

“Why do the bears talk?”

 

“What’s it matter, Oz?”

 

“I have many questions Qrow. Who designed these movies?”

 

“It’s a kids movie it really doesn’t matter.

 

“I think it does.” 

 

“Shhhhhhhhhh.” Yang shushed them angrily, sending them both adorable death glares. They both just laughed earning another death glare.

 

“I think we did good.” Qrow commented quietly, not to incur the wrath of Yang. 

 

“I think so too. Although neither of us wants children I believe we make fine babysitters.” Ozpin whispered back, smiling. Qrow smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. 

 

Taiyang and Summer arrived home a few minutes after 9 to a weirdly quiet house. It was still a mess for sure but it was quiet. The TV was playing some weird cartoon. Yang was laying on the couch but both parents could tell she was still wide awake. Qrow and Ozpin on the other hand were fast asleep in each other’s arms. Yang ran, rather quietly, over to Summer while Taiyang took a picture.

 

“Hello, Yangarang.” Summer smiled as she scooped Yang up into her arms. “How is my beautiful little dragon?”

 

“Mommy.” Yang smiled, burying her face in Summer’s chest and nuzzling happily. 

 

“You smell good and your hair is so pretty. Did you have a bath?” Summer asked, cuddling her happily. 

 

“Uh huh!”

 

“Were you good?”

 

“No.”

 

“That’s my girl.” Summer laughed, glancing over at the two exhausted men. “Tai why don’t you get them while I go put Yang down. Make sure to send them home with extra cookies.”

 

“You got it.” Taiyang laughed, shaking his head as Summer walked towards Yang’s room. It was weird to see Qrow happy but sure enough there he was, smiling his sleep. He walked over to turn off the TV. “You did good, brother. You did good.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> @dorkyduckling on Tumblr


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